The Truth About Potty Talk

I have hit my weekly limit on hearing about bathroom functions, words that sound like bathroom functions, imitations of bathroom functions, you get the idea.

These conversations begin at 7am and continue until the last little nugget has gone to school only to commence once again when they all return in the afternoon. Some days I will sit in the car, with the radio off and wonder, “will we ever talk about anything else besides toots and Hershey drops?” Yes, clever kids, aren’t they?

There are days when I feel like they have zapped every last cell from my brain, these are the days that I too, laugh when they blow into the crook of their arm and see who can make the loudest f@rt noise. At this point I have lost all credibility as a parent and must try to regain some shred of authority before it all goes to hell in a hand basket.

I try to remember when I was a kid; did I think all this kind of talk was funny? I clearly remember one of my 1st grade classmates reciting the word “underwear” over and over again during one of our Christmas pageants. And I also remembering it took every bit of restraint that I had to stop myself from busting out laughing. So I guess I have my answer.

Why are things related to the bathroom so funny? I mean there are adult comics who base a good part of their stand-up routines on bodily functions and we laugh hysterically at their comments. So do we ever really grow out of the “bathroom humor” phase? Chew on that one for a bit…

In our quest to raise good and respectful children (and to prove ourselves as proper adults) we correct them for this type of talk while secretly laughing inside. Then we go and share their comments and actions at adult parties with other parents who not only understand but in turn, have stories of their own to add. I always thought that when I would go to these “cocktail parties” we would talk about highly intellectual things such as politics and current events. Perhaps I am just not that worldly anymore or I am just too tired to try and think that hard.

But I will still try to clean up the little mouths that live in this house, challenging them to make better choices with the words that they use.  I am confident though, that they will continue to supply me with plenty of tales to share at the next cocktail party and afford me many secret laughs while they sit in time out in their rooms.


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